Hello fellas!
Today I'm going to share my little story and thought about an introverted lyfe. Yeah my highschool story. This thought popped up by an unexpected reaction of event. It just clarify how loner I was during my highschool period. It was happened when I saw my senior in campus IGS, she is currently working in a private firm. The story video was about office lunch or dinner I do forget, my fellow highschool friend was appear there, someone I know in person, we went into same class for two years. So, ya you know the normal reaction when you realized world are so small and interconnected, I replied: Me: Is that X who is blablabla? Senior: Did you know her? God, she are so well known everywhere haha Me: Yeah. We went to same highschool. I was her classmate Senior: Really? Me: Send my greeting for her Senior: Sure A day later my senior send me a PM. S ; I already delivered your greeting. But she dont remember you. she just remember Y instead (Y is my senior in SHS who went to same campus as mine) M: *kinda surprissed* haha its okay. it has already four year since we met. she my be forget me. This girl was my classmate for 2 years. We even went to same extracuricullar club. Even we were not that close, I was sometimes talk and chitchatting with her. Not some person I just know the name or just utter nonsense known. But then again, I'm just positive. People come and by. We can forget a person anytime. But that moment just remind me how loner I am. During the half fasting month I spent my fasting in Yogyakarta. When I am back to Jakarta, I spend my whole fasting and iftar with my family. My mom asked me whether I have plan to take iftar with my highschool friend. I was silenced for a moment. The invitation of iftar just come from my choir club which I cant attend due to my job interview. Then it just came out from my mouth "I dont have any closed friends during SHS. Dont worry, no one would asked me for iftar. I didn't plan to go anywhere" Most people says, highschool is the best time of their live. Young, wild and free. Good memories. Many friends. Well, that wasnt wrong at all. My highschool memories wasn;t terrible, eventhough wasn't much delightful either. I never got bullied. I talked to people in class. I joined the choir club. I never involved in any school mischief. I was that little goody girl. Hahaha. But yet, I just realized I was quite invisible back then. My existance wasn't that valueable. People will still have going fun whether I'm in or not. I dont remember I have such a peer group during high school. While people have their own clique, I am an outsider. I was basically can fit with everyone, but I was in outlier. As introverted I spent my most time alone. I went to canteen by myself, sometimes I spent my time in library killing time before next course alone, I backed home alone or sometimes with anyone whoever by chance taking same path as mine. I was oftenly sleeping in class. My title in class award was "Tertempel di Meja" because I got sleep so often haha. The ones that quite remarkable for me when I was in SHS were my one and third year chairmate and my 2 years class leader. They were the people I frequently interacted. Even we rarely contacted due to each business, I have quite good relationship with them until this day. I am glad they have good life now and I'm sure they will success later. (See you on top res, bib! hehe). So, it was so normal for my fellow friends to forget me (or even forget I was exist in this world). Because I'm an outsider, a loner, an introverted, never did a crazy thing that made me remembered or noticed. At first I just a bit shocked because I quite know her in person and we ever talked each other, went to same class for two years and she completely forget me and instead remember my senior who never going to same class to us (but yeah whole school know him, who doesn't?). But then, I am advised, people come and go. She lives a happy life, why I need to fill my mind with the negativity by feel forgotten? In the end, every cloud has silver lining. I might not have friends in SHS. But now I am so blessed having bestfriends in my college life. They are something I always thanked for aside my family. I am so grateful now. I learned, you just may not fit in some people in place. But it doesnt mean you are worthless. There must be people who fit with you even it just a little. You dont need to have very numerous friend to be happy. Happiness come from within. I frequently enjoy my time alone. I spent time by myself alone going to cafe, coffee shop, library, taking bus or train, walking in city street, observing people in public space. All you need is being grateful. Have a nice day!
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Seeking for new experiences and happiness. Writting to express not impress. Archives
January 2022
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